About Stanly

I often wonder what amazing things could happen if we all got better at managing our fear and belief systems. I am driven by this idea that when we productively examine ourselves (even when it’s uncomfortable or painful), we create the capacity to be better to ourselves, our communities, and our planet. Imagine how different society could be if early education prioritized mindfulness, critical thinking, and financial literacy. I am grateful for the opportunity to do such unique and meaningful work: it brings out the most creatively abstract, analytical, compassionate, and “humanizingly playful” parts of who I am. I hope to create small positive ripples in the lives of others with the hope they grow into larger ripples in the world around them.

How I Got Here

Like many others, I learned all sorts of things about happiness and morality:

• Certain feelings and behaviors are good while others are bad.

• Your worth and happiness are based on how special, accomplished, perfect, wealthy, famous, or popular you are.

• You should always feel good and happy. If you don’t, just keep avoiding bad feelings—easy! If that doesn’t work… Well, you’ll need figure it out on your own (“we don’t talk about feelings or mental health, that’s weak and it’s a waste of time”).

Like many others, my decisions were often driven by this programming. While it may have helped me achieve or accomplish things, it greatly distorted my sense of self and reality. This resulted in excessive mental habits of catastrophic worrying and self-critical over-thinking. I wasted years arguing with my mind about what was “true/good/enough/safe”. I struggled to get out of my head, open up, and pursue what I deeply cared about. But the “appearance” of happiness and success ≠ true, authentic inner peace and happiness.

Why I Do This

Like many therapists, my training, education, and personal psychological work have taught me a great deal about myself. Like many others, I have faced hardships in life. However, I am not unique because of them; what makes us all unique is how we choose to respond and why. The recurring painful events or existential crises I encounter, while challenging, also fuel my deep interest and passion for psychology and philosophy. When I take what I learn and apply it to my commitment to compassionately serve others, it affirms my sense of purpose and ability to keep doing this work. I would not change the cards I was given in this life… Buuut it would have been nice to have been introduced to these psychological skills/ideas sooner. So I hope to be that for you, wherever you are in your life.